The Senior Show

I can't believe that in just two days, my work will be hanging in a gallery for my senior show. Although it felt like an eternity while I was in school, it now seems to have all gone by so fast.
These past two semesters have been hard, to say the least. There were plenty of times where I hated my work and photography in general. Many times I wanted to give up, but I pushed through and am almost at the end.
The work I have done this year is some of my favorite work so far. I feel that my work looks like me. I can see myself, my thoughts, ideas, emotions, and history in my series. This work means a lot to me, not only because the subject matter is so important to me, but also because I have put so much time,thought, and energy into it.
I can see that I have come a long way from my first semester as a photography student. My work has progressed and become much more mature and unique to me. I can also see some similarities in my recent work as well. I tend to do my best work when using my family as a subject. I tend to be drawn to black and white photographs. I also seem to be more inspired and creative while using film, as opposed to digital.
I can't wait to see how everything comes together this Friday. Everyone has worked incredibly hard to make this show happen. I am hoping that it will be a complete success.

The two photographs above were chosen by the juror and will be shown at the Senior Show this Friday.

Thoughts on the Panel Review day

The panel review day went very well, actually better than expected. I was there early in the morning to set everything up, and was able to meet the first few panel members.
My meeting was later in the day, so I waited anxiously most of the afternoon. I asked students how their meeting went, and was surprised that most people had a positive experience.
My first meeting with Stretch Ledford was wonderful. I was very nervous as I walked up to the table and began to introduce myself and my work. I talked a little about my concept and what the project meant to me. Stretch was interested in this but seemed to be more interested in how and where my work was meant to be shown. He was interested in what type of audience my work was geared towards as well. Stretch is more of a commercial photographer, so it made sense that he was concerned about these topics.
He said some very inspiring and kind things to me. He could see that I was able to convey inner emotions through my work. He then went on to say that this was the meaning of true art. This may be one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me about my work.
The only real problem he had with my presentation was my over sized portfolio box.
His photograph is shown above. (Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia, 1993; color print.)

My second meeting with Aimee Koch also went very well. Again I nervous as I walked up to meet her. She was much more interested in the concept side of my work. I was a bit flustered and had a hard time conveying exactly what my work was about. This is something I will have to work on.
In the end she was interested in my work and mentioned a few times that it was unique. She gave me some great advice on how to arrange my series. She mentioned that some of the photographs were easier to read, while others were more abstract. She felt that it was important for the viewer to look at the less abstract pictures first, to get a feeling for the content, and then to be led onto the more abstract photos. This would hopefully get the viewer interested in the series and willing to spend more time with some of the more difficult pictures later on.
Her picture is also shown above. ( Shirt #4)

Panel Review Day!

I am scheduled to meet with Aimee Koch and Stretch Ledford for the panel Review.
I was a student in Stretch's Business of Photography class last semester. I hated the class but though Stretch was very inspirational. He urged me to continue with photography when I was feeling like I wanted to quit. He gave me good feedback on my work as well. He also complimented a series I worked on about my Grandparents. I feel like I can trust Stretch to be honest with me, and we have a good relationship.
I also admire his work. He is very professional and has had a lot of experience. While he does more commercial work than fine art, he has fine art eye. His work is not all business. You can tell that he cares about his photographs through the lighting and the moments that he is able to catch. His work is available to view on his website.

Website: http://www.stretchphotography.com/

I am not familiar with Aimee Koch. I was a little worried when I found out that I was to meet with her on panel review day. I did some research on her and looked at some of her work, and I am actually happy that I get to meet with her.
Her baby doll series has some similarities to some of my work, especially my pictures of my Grandmother's baby video. The up close, distorted faces of the baby dolls remind me of my work. I also liked her series titled "Undressed." Her lighting is beautiful and the images are haunting. Her images are shown above.

Website: http://www.aimeekoch.com/index.htm

I also noticed that Aimee has very involved artist statements. She may be interested in a more in depth artist statement than some of the other panel members. Reviewing her work and doing some research on my panel reviewers has helped me to be better prepared for Monday.

Artist Statements

Lorie Novak: "I combine and re-visualize photographic imagery, exploring its relationship with memory. I am particularly interested in how personal and collective memory affect the reading of photographs. Working with slide projections, I create ephemeral installations to be photographed that combine my family snapshots, and historical/cultural imagery.

In the interior photographs, empty rooms are filled with "projections" replaying psychological and emotional events."

Shimon Attie:

"In Between Dreams and History, I wanted to give visual form to the personal and collective memories and imaginings of residents of the Lower East Side. I interviewed neighbors from diverse ethnic backgrounds and age groups who were generous and trusting enough to share their memories. They wrote down their favorite childhood songs, poems, rhymes, as well as their dreams, hopes, wishes, superstitions, prayers, and intuitions.From their dreams and histories has emerged a communal poetry in which neighborhood residents serve as their own witnesses. I chose to project the texts directly onto the architecture to reanimate buildings with the written recollections. I wanted the lasers to write out texts in real time, letter by letter, mirroring how memories ebb and flow. It is my hope that this ghostly nighttime writing--whether in English, Spanish, Chinese, Yiddish, or Hebrew--can help to soften the divisions between us by tapping into our collective imagination during a few short autumn weeks."

My Response:

I chose these two artists because I love their work. Some of the ideas and even the physical aspects of their work remind me of my current project. I am very confused about what to say during the panel review. Am I supposed to have an artist statement? Do I just use a quote? Does it have to be serious? Do I explain my process, the reasons why I ma doing this work, and the background? I am so confused!

Lorie Novak's statement is short and simple. She gets her point across and even mentions her family photographs. This is one thing that I was worried about, whether or not to mention the fact that these are pictures of my family. She sounds smart and sure of herself. Her statement isn't too dramatic or lofty.

Shimon Attie's statement is longer and very descriptive. He goes into great detail about his process. He mentions his ultimate purpose for the project. Neither Novak nor Attie have long drawn out descriptions of their concepts. They are simple. The concept is usually one sentence. There seems to be more time spent on explaining the process and what exactly the viewer is looking at.

I am still unsure about how to explain my work. I don't want to go in to great detail about my concept. If I talk too much and explain too much it take all the fun and mystery out of the work. I need to find a sweet and simple way of introducing my work. I will continue to look at other projects by these artists, as well as others to help me figure out how to talk about my work.

External and Internal Perception

“All that is perceived, whatever it is and whatever its effect may be on a particular individual, has but one ultimate purpose. That is to clarify the distinction between the external that is SEEN and the internal that SEES.”

-T.K.V. Desikachar

Desikachar, T.K.V. . "The Heart of Yoga" Inner Traditions International. Rochester, Vermont. 1995

I have been struggling a bit with just exactly what it is I am trying to say with my work. I have moved from Hindu and Buddhist philosophy, to pain and pleasure, light and dark, then to legacy and family memory. This project has naturally led me into many different directions. I think I have settled on a main idea, a central concept. I used this quote in my critique last Semester. I have come back to it because it relates to what I have been thinking about and trying to show with this work.
Most of my photographs are familiar subjects in familiar environments in familiar situations.
Everyone can relate in some way to a woman on her wedding day, giving birth, sitting with her husband at a dinner table and holding her child. These photographs are of everyday life.
What is interesting about this work is that each viewer will perceive these situations differently. One person may look at the wedding photographs and feel that the person in the photo is happy, another may sense nervousness, another may sense tension, another may feel excitement. Everyone will make their own observations about the situation and person in each photograph.
What people don't know is what was actually being felt by the subject in the picture.
This illustrates "...the distinction between the external that is SEEN and the internal that SEES.”
We, the external observers have no idea how the subject felt at the time or what they were thinking. The only one who knows this information is the individual, the internal that sees.
My Grandmother, who is in most if not all of my photographs, is viewing the world through her own eyes in the photographs. That internal, individual person is experiencing what the viewer can only see from the outside.
This idea of the internal and external perception has been my main interest throughout this project. I am having a rather difficult time figuring out how to convey this idea. This quote does help to explain my thoughts though.
While looking at the images I have posted, start to think about what you feel and see. Then try to imagine what the person in the photograph was thinking and feeling. There is really no way of knowing. These thoughts and feelings are hidden and secret. I think this is one of the points of this work.

Between Mothers and Daughters

Fischer, Lucy Rose. Marriage & Family Review. New York: Aug 31, 1991. Vol. 16, Iss. 3/4; pg. 237


Abstract (Summary)

Sociologists, anthropologists and psychologists have described a special closeness between mothers and daughters over all stages of the life course, from the infancy of the daughters to the old age of the mothers. (For a review of recent research on the mother-daughter relationship, see Boyd, 1989; see also Baruch and Barnett, 1983; Fischer, 1986; Hagestad, 1981; Hammer, 1976; Walker and Thompson, 1983.) Mothers are said to identify with daughters more than with sons; daughters are more likely than sons to be caregivers for their elderly mothers. Potentially, however, recent changes in women's roles undermine the special mother-daughter bond. These trends may widen the "generation gap" so that mothers' experiences may have little relevance to their daughters' actual futures. More specifically, the fact that an increasing proportion of women remain childless, along with the salience of professional careers in the lives of many women, means that the mothering role often is not passed down from mother to daughter.

How this relates to my work:

After working with more photographs, I have started to take much more interest in the lineage of women in my family. I have talked before about the direct line from my Great Grandmother to me, that has become so apparent to me while working with these pictures and movies. Of course I have always known about my Great Grandmother, and understand that we are related, just as I am related to my mother and grandmother. Working with these images has just reaffirmed the connection that we all have. Seeing my Grandmother as an infant in her Mother's arms, then a child, then a teen, then an adult having her own children makes me look at my these women in my family not as my Grandmother, mother, or great grandmother but as people with their own separate thoughts, lives, and identities. What connects us is that line of birth. Each woman has gone through the birth experience, and passed down a child, who then has a child of her own. The line has come to me. The study, explained above, mentioned the importance and power of mother daughter relationships, as well as the fact that things are changing. Women are working more and more, not spending as much time with their children. Many women are choosing not to have children at all.

Reading that this mothering role may not be passed down form mother to daughter, and that the mother's place in her daughter's life will lessen is a scary and sad forecast. It made me start to look at these images in a different way. The gift of coming from a line of loving, caring mothers is a gift. It made me realize that I want to be able to have children and continue this line of loving mothers and families.

Mother-Daughhter Relationships

Mother-daughter relationships and adult daughter friendships by Welleford, Elizabeth Ayn, Ph.D., Virginia Commonwealth University, 1998, 213 pages; AAT 9839194

Purpose:
The purposes of this study was to explore the associations between adult daughters' relationships with their mothers and close friends and to describe factors that contribute to the development of adult relationships and linkages between mother- daughter and daughter-friend relationships.

Findings:
120 adult mother and daughter couples were interviewed. Six categories were explored in the interviews: parenting, transition to adult mother-daughter relationship, current mother-daughter typology, daughters' relational tools, daughters' relational work, and current daughter-friend relationship qualities. Two things were discovered in this study: First, the mother's parenting goals and behavior influences the dyad's transition into an adult mother-daughter relationship. Second, mother's parenting goals and behavior influences the daughter's current friendship via daughter's relational tools and relationship work.

How this relates to my work:
Although some of the findings in this study were rather obvious, I still found them interesting. The study found that those who were most comfortable in their mother-daughter relationship were more affectionate and were secure in their identity. It was also found that they had better personal, relationship skills than those who had slightly less or even alienated relationships with their mother's.
My mother and I have a very strong and affectionate relationship. We are very close. I also have a very close relationship with my Grandmother, more so than I usually see in other Granddaughter- Grandmother relationships. On the other hand, my Mom and Grandmother have a tense relationship. My Mother has said in the past they she purposely took note of the things her mother did that she would never do. I know how important it is to have a healthy relationship with one's Mother, in terms of growth and development as well as for social reasons. If a child is raised with love and affection, and is close and comfortable with one's mother, they will be more likely to be healthy and stable in their lives.
While working on my senior project I have become very interested in studying the history of my Grandmother, Mother, and myself. Seeing how my Grandmother was raised and how she related to the world and seeing how my Mother was raised is very interesting. I am able to see them at the same ages in these videos. I am able to see the similarities in their actions, expressions, and movements. I can see how they were raised. How they were treated by their parents, what their living situations were like. Of course I know how I was raised and what my living situation was like. It is very interesting too see the line from My Grandmother to my Mother to me. This project has started to become much more. It is more about the relationships between three women.

Similarities Among Generations

Kornberg, Wendi F. "A Single Family Case Study of Patterns of Movement Phrasing and Effort Dynamics Among Three Generations of Men" 30-Jan-2009

Link to Abstract: thttp://idea.library.drexel.edu/handle/1860/2950

Objective in Study:

The objective of this single family case study was to explore the similarities and/or dissimilarities of patterns of movement phrasing and effort dynamics among three generations of men. A Grandfather, Father, and Son from a Caucasian, Catholic family were recruited and asked to participate in a three part assessment, which included a questionnaire, a movement activity, and an interview.

Findings:

Overall, the analysis of the data collected fostered a greater understanding of this family, and it revealed that similarities among the Grandfather, Father, and Son are present. These similarities were observed among all three generations of men, as well as within the Grandfather-Father dyad, Father-Son dyad, and Grandfather-Son dyad. After evaluation of the movement demonstrated by the three generations of men, it was determined that this family has access to all of the effort factors, which signifies the presence of health. Since currently there is no baseline of normal patterns of movement phrasing and effort dynamics of male family members, this research began an exploration of the intergenerational transmission of nonverbal movement patterns. Future research can possibly use these nascent findings to expand and continue understanding this phenomenon. Further pursuit of this intergenerational research will continue to increase our knowledge and understanding of the family and the transmission of behaviors through the generations.

How This Relates to My Work:

While watching my family videos over and over again I began to pick up on similarities between my Grandmother, my mother, and myself. We all look alike in certain ways and act in move alike as well. Seeing my Grandmother at birth, then as a toddler, a young child, a teenager, and then an adult was very interesting. I recognized expressions, hand movements, and a certain look in her eyes. She does the same things now at the age of 70 that she did when she was a child and young adult. I noticed this with my Mother even more. There are a few scenes of her as a baby all the way to an adult, after she gave birth to me. She had the same gestures and expressions as she does now. It was amazing to see her from a time that I can't remember her, but am still able to recognize her and understand her movements. I can draw major similarities between my Grandmother, my Mother, and myself.
This case study, that I mentioned above, reminded me so much of these recent thoughts I have been having. They found that there were dramatic similarities between the three generations of men, in the way they moved and talked. It also mentioned that, because of these similarities, the three men were able to have healthier relationships with one another.
This was also very similar to some of my recent thoughts. My Mother and I can understand each other in ways that no one else can. Sometimes we hardly have to say a word, and many times don't complete sentences. We are able to talk to each other through body language. At times our expressions and gestures are loaded with more information than our words can convey.

Eternal

"All there is, is the reflection of the eternal, the eternal that is formless and within each of us. The gaze of the persons in the paintings turns inwards always, it is this look within that is the essence of this art." Benoy K. Behl

This is a statement made by behl, the artist in my last blog entry. His most recent work focuses on photographing the Anjanta cave paintings in India. This excerpt, from a recording about his thoughts on his project, struck me for a number of reasons.
In Hindu philosophy it is believed that we all have an individual soul, and that this individual soul is the reflection of the divine. This soul, or Purusha in Sanscrit, lives on forever. The soul is not affected by nature. It is always clear and true.
The next part that interested me was the way he talked baout the gaze of the person's in the paintings. He mentioned that the gaze turns inward. This is the essence of the art. While looking at my family videos, and studying the gestures, expressions, and gaze of the subjects this idea rings true. Each expression and look of my grandmother or mother helps me to look inward, at my family as well as myself.
My work is much more than documenting my family history. This work is a study of the inner workings of my family. I can sense the inner person or sould within each of my fa,ily members while looking at these images.
At times I have thought of these images and videos as making the passing moment into something more eternal. By documenting these moments in history they are no longer souly in the past. They have moved into the present and the furure. Over the past year I have thought of these images as eternal now that they are in tapes and recorded back to film, then printed out on paper. After listening to this recording I have started to realize that nothing I do will make these recorded moments eternal. The moments, and the souls of the subjects are the only eternal things. The thing are not tangible though. There is not a thing I can do to make these things permanent. The only permanent things can be the moments in the past. The fact that they occurred at sme point in time makes them live on.

Change

"Life changes in the instant, the ordinary instant." (Joan Didion)

Didion, Joan. The Year of Magical Thinking. Vintage Books. New York, New York. 2005

The Year of Magical Thinking is a memoir by Joan Didion in which she recounts an especially trying year of her life. Her husband dies unexpectedly, while her only daughter is struggling to live through pneumonia and brain surgery. Throughout this memoir, Didion repeats the events leading up to these traumatice experiences in great detail. The color of a shirt, a note on the kitchen counter, exact words form converations. It seems that trauma heightens one's senses. She seems to be repeating her memories over an dover agian in order to find some meaning in her life and events taking place.
While reading this book I began to think just how precious memories are. Even simple ones, that at the time may not seem so meaningful or important. I also began to think how quickly things can change, for better ot worse. "In an instant, an ordinary instant," life as you know it can be ripped from beneath you. Everything that you love and care about, everything you work for can disappear.
I began to think about how these thoughts related to my photography. As I look through these videos I can see that life is made up of many differnet moments, all tied together. If one thing went differently, history could be rewritten. My life could be totaly different if my grandmother chose to marry a different man, or if someone died. I may ot even be here. Now I have begun to look at these photos and videos not just as the past, but as a direct line to my life in the present. everything moment that has passed could have affected me on some way. These past meories are my connection to the past as well as the present and the future.

Chronological Time and Psychological Time According to Hindu Ayurvedic Philosophy

"There is chronological time and there is psychological time. Thought takes place in psychological time. Since thought builds on memory, and memory is accumulated past experience, time is the movement of the past into the present and the future. Therefore, thought is the linear movement of time, because of the sequential change of events. Psychological time is the movement of thought. If one enters the inner space beyond thought, one goes beyond psychological time."

M.A.Sc., Lad, Vassant, D. "Textbook of Ayurveda: Fundamental Principles of Ayurveda." The Ayurvedic Press. Albuquerque, New Mexico.

While working with family memories and the past, I have started to think about how these pictures and moving images are viewed in the present. At the time of filming, these memories were the present moment. The only people involved were those in the films and the person behind the camera. As time moved on, there were more viewers with different thoughts, experiences, and perceptions.
Now 70 years later, these memories from the past are being brought to the present. Not only are these pictures being shown in a very different time from when they were captured, but also to a wider variety of people. How a person in 2009 responds to these images may be different from a person viewing them in the 40's, 50's, or 60's. It is also interesting to see how a non-relative responds to these very intimate and familial images.
Another thing that struck me while reading this quote was how the past does move into the present and the future. I am taking images from the past and viewing and using them for my own purpose in the present. What I am doing now will bring the past not only into the present, but also the future.
Another part of the quote that stood out to me, regarding my project was that "thought builds on memory, and memory is accumulated past experience."
My thoughts, perceptions, feelings, and emotions are all affected by memory. My memory is based in passed experiences. Therefore, while I am working with these images of my Grandmother, my perception of them is much different from that of anyone else. I know a deeper and more personal past history of my Grandmother than what people can pick up on from moving images and photographs. What I see in the pictures of her first date or her marriage cannot be seen by most, because of the passing of time both chronologically, and psychologically.
These images are weaving together the past, present, and future. This is one of my goals.

Legacy

"Little Candle In The Pulpit: The Sacred legacy of Memory and Genealogy In Li-Young Lee's
Book Of My Nights

Malandra, Marc. English Language Notes, Spring2006, Vol. 44 Issue 1, p19-27, 9p

In this article, Malandra discusses the importance of memory and family history in poet Li-Young Lee's work.
"Poet and memorist Li-Young Lee has frequently been singled out for his preoccupation with memory, with the fluctuating rhythms of personal identity as they engage the circumstances of an amazing family history."
She references Lee's poetry, as well as other writers ans students of Lee's work. One exapmle is a quote from Pierre Nora on family, memory, and history.
"Memory and history, far from being synomonous, are thus in many respects opposed...Memory is always a phenomenom of the present, a tying us to the eternal present; history is a represtation of the past. Memory, being a phenomenon of emotion and magic, accomodates only those facts that suit it...History, being an intellectual, nonreligious acctivity, calls for analysis and critical discourse. Memory situates rememberance in a sacred context."

Reading some of the excerpts from Lee's poems was very interesting for me. I love seeing how other artists, writers, poets, performers, or any other artistic person expresses themselves when dealing with memories and the past as a whole. I was also interested in how many artists, such as Li-Young Lee, see their geneaology and past experiences as sacred and dear to them. Family, history, and memories are things that all people can understand and relate to. The difference comes in how certain people relate and interact with these things.
My work deals heavily with family and memories. I hold these memories (photographs and family video footage) as sacred pieces of myself. This is what motivates me to work in this medium and with this subject matter. My viewers don't have to be part of my family or know any of the family history to be able to understand and appreciate my work. This is because the idea of memory and family is universal. I am working with a personal subject matter but am saying much more than how important my family is to me, as Li-Young Lee does wit his poetry. His work speaks on many different levels. It speaks to society as a whole and also has an undercurrent of religious symbolism. My work this past semester dealt with family and memory as well as Hindu and Buddhist concepts and ideas. I am using a subject that is dear to me as well as exploring what can be seen, taken, and learned about the world around me from these important, sacred memories.

Birth and Long Term Memory

Simpkin P. Birth 1992 Jun;19(2):64-81.

Abstract of a study:

"Twenty women who attended the author's natural childbirth classes between 1968 and 1974 were the informants in this study of long-term memories of their first childbirths. The data from each informant consisted of 1) a labor and birth questionnaire, including an open-ended account of her labor, written shortly after her baby was born; 2) a similar questionnaire and account written in 1988 and 1989; and 3) a transcribed interview during which her memories and perceptions were discussed and any discrepancies between the questionnaires were explored. The questionnaires were compared for consistency of recall, and the interviews consulted for further clarification. Specific memories were excerpted, compared, classified, tabulated, and summarized. Findings were that, years later, women's memories are generally accurate, and many are strikingly vivid, especially of onset of labor; rupture of the membranes; arrival at the hospital; actions of doctors, nurses, and partners; particular interventions; the birth; and first contact with the baby. Most memory lapses or confusion were minor. Evidence of a halo effect was observed as well."

I thought this study was interesting. A lot of my projects in the past have dealt with the distortion of memory over time. Many of our memories become either hazy or take on a whole new life of their own. Many of the memories we have from childhood are probably very different form the actual experience. In this study, it was found that woman can remember their labor accurately. Their memories weren't glorified or distorted and unclear. Rightly so. Child birth is one of the most life changing and important things in a woman's life. I also find it interesting that, for the most part, no one can remember their own birth. There is a disconnect here between the mother and child. And this cycle can come full circle. Just as your mother was there to witness the first few moments of your life, which you are unaware of, you can witness your own child's birth and first few moments in the world. Looking at this study just reinforced my feelings for this project. The amount and intensity of emotion and memory that come with child birth is fascinating. Everything I read or study or look at that deals with my subject matter brings gives me a deeper connection to my subject.

Sukha

"When we feel a sense of lightness and openness within, then we are experiencing the opposite of duhkha, a state that is called Sukha. The concept of duhkha plays an important part not only on Yoga but in every significant philosophy of India. There is duhkha at different times in the life of every human being." (T.K.V. Desikachar)

Desikachar, T.K.V. . "The Heart of Yoga" Inner Traditions International. Rochester, Vermont. 1995

Desikachar is the son of Krishnamacharya, the "founder of modern Yoga". He has devoted his life to studying and teaching Yoga. He is an international teacher and widely respected in the Yoga community.

This idea that good and bad, suffering and joy are two aspects of life is why I am using tihs quote. One is not without the other. In my project I am trying to show that both the trauma of birth and the beauty of this same experience are part of the same thing. There is a balance of the good and the bad. One would not exist without the other. The ideas of duhkha and sukha are a bbig part of Indian culture and philosophy. A more recognizable idea would be the Yin and Yang. The light and dark, good and bad.

Anicca

Anicca(Impermanence)

"Impermanence is one of the Three Marks of Existence. The term expresses the Buddhist notion that all things and experiences are inconstant, unsteady, and impermanent. Everything we can experience through our senses is made up of parts, and its existence is dependent on external conditions. Everything is in constant flux, and so conditions and the thing itself are constantly changing. Things are constantly coming into being, and ceasing to be. Nothing lasts"(Wikipedia).

"Nothing in nature is identical with what it was the moment before"(Huston Smith).

Smith, Huston. "The worlds Religions." Harper Collins. New York, New York.

Huston Smith is widely regarded as the most eloquent and accessible contemporary authority on the history of religions. He has taught at Washington University, M.I.T., Syracuse University, and the University of California at Berkeley.

This idea of impermanence is an extremely important part of Buddhist teaching. Buddha taught that the only way to be truly free was to let go of all things permanent and accept time and change, loss and gain. While looking through these family movies I have seen relatives who have passed away or who I no longer see. I have been able to watch my grandmother grow up. From her birth to her first steps and even one of her first dates with my grandfather. Life is a continuous cycle. Everything starts an d every will at some point come to an end. These family videos act as memories. These otherwise intangible things that cannot be seen are able to be seen. Being able to capture that which is impermanent, through still or moving images, is extraordinary.This is probably one of my main attractions to photography. The Buddhist teachings I have brought up so far are interesting components to my project.

Dukkha

The first Noble Truth In Buddhism

"Dukkha, then, names the pain that to some degree colors all finite existence. The exact meaning of the First Noble Truth is this: Life (in the condition it has got itself into) is dislocated. Something has gone wrong. It is out of joint"(Huston Smith on the Buddha's teachings)

"He [Buddha] went on to pinpoint six moments when life's dislocation becomes glaringly apparent.

1. The trauma of birth. The birth experience "involves just such a concatenation of painful feelings, of discharges and excitation, and of bodily sensations, as have become a prototype for all occasions on which life is endangered, ever after to be reproduced in us as the dread of all life's anxiety conditions"(Huston Smith).

Smith, Huston. "The World's Religions." Harper Collins. New york, New York. 1991

Huston Smith is widely regarded as the most eloquent and accessible contemporary authority on the history of religions. He has taught at Washington University, M.I.T., Syracuse University, and the University of California at Berkeley.

After taking pictures of my grandmother at just eight hours old I saw the images from the video in a different light. At first I was intent on capturing the beauty of this imagery. Afterward I could see that these pictures could take on a new meaning, focusing more on the trauma of birth. I have studied Hinduism and Buddhism in religion classes and am also studying Hinduism in more depth with my Yoga training. These pictures reminded me of the First Noble Truth, Dukkha. Many believe that this first experience in life is the root cause of all life's problems. I am not saying that this is exactly what I want my work to say, It is a possibility though. I am also interested in looking at more of Hindu and Buddhist teachings. Especially concerning life's different stages. I feel that this could add another layer to my project. I am very interested in this and it may inspire my work. It already has inspired me to look for more in this project.

Process

"As an artist who is more interested in the process than the product, who works through the medium to discover and ultimately know and understand both himself and his world, Callahan does not think of ion terms of creating photographic masterpieces, singular and complete unto themselves." Sarah Greenough on Harry Callahan

Sarah Greenough is senior curator of photographs at the National Gallery of Art, Washington. She was the founding curator of photographs at the National Gallery where she has organized numerous exhibitions, including Alfred Stieglitz (1983), On the Art of Fixing a Shadow: 150 Years of Photography (1989), Modern Art and America: Alfred Stieglitz and His New York Galleries (2001), André Kertész (2005), and Irving Penn: Platinum Prints (2005) that have also traveled to museums around the world. Most recently, she was co-curator of The Art of the American Snapshot, 1888-1978: From the Collection of Robert E. Jackson (2007) and organized Richard Misrach: On the Beach (2008) for exhibition at the National Gallery of Art.

Greenough is the author of many publications, including Walker Evans: Subways and Streets (1991), Robert Frank: Moving Out (1994), Harry Callahan (1996), Alfred Stieglitz: The Key Set (2002), and All the Mighty World: The Photographs of Roger Fenton, 1852–1860 (2004), with Malcolm Daniel and Gordon Baldwin.
Her exhibitions and publications have won many awards, including the International Center of Photography Publications Award for On the Art of Fixing a Shadow: 150 Years of Photography and the George Wittenborn Memorial Book Award for Alfred Stieglitz: The Key Set. In 2007, she and co-author Diane Waggoner won the College Art Association’s Alfred H. Barr, Jr. award for outstanding museum scholarship for their exhibition catalogue, The Art of the American Snapshot: 1888–1978. (http://www.nga.gov/press/bios/greenough.shtm)

I found this statement very interesting. The outcome, the finished product is often thought of as being much more important than the actual process that formed the finished piece. With Callahan's work his process took most of his life. He kept on working, not looking for a "masterpiece", but working for the sake of process both technically and in his life. His subjects changed and aged with time as did his ideas, techniques, processes, and visions with his work.

I am interested in process as being a major theme in my work. Going from an 8mm film camera, to a VHS, to the television or projector, then being recorded again onto film and being reproduced in a tangible form, on paper in the darkroom. I don't feel that process is the most important theme in my project but it is an important component. In past experiences, working through different photographic processes, the process usually takes me and my work somewhere I had not expected when I first started. I am excited to start the process, with an idea, and see how things evolve with time and work.

Memory

"Memory is the primary instrument, the inexhaustible nutrient source." Sally Mann

"For me, those pointed lessons of impermanence are softened by the unchanging scape of my life, the durable realities" Sally Mann

Mann, Sally. "Immediate Family." Aperture Foundation Inc. New York, New York. 1992.

Sally Mann is a nationally known and respected photographer. Her work is in the collection of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Museum of Modern Art, the Whitney Museum of American Art, and many many more. Her work deals mostly with family and memories. Although her work is very personal, her subject matter can relate to all. The ideas of memory, family, death, birth, and impermanence are a part of everyone's life.

I am going to experiment with another idea for my senior portfolio project. I have always been happiest and done my best work when dealing with subjects that are close to me. Subjects that I care deeply for. I plan on working with old family movies dating from the the day my Grandmother was born all the way up through the recent past, with me as a child. Impermanence is a reality, our life will eventually consist of memories once we have passed. Time will continue and more moments will turn into memories. Families are linked through time and memories.

Price

" Whenever I hear people say clean food is expensive, I tell them it's actually the cheapest food you can buy. That always gets their attention. Then I explain that, with our food, all of the costs are figured into the price. Society is not bearing the cost of water pollution, of antibiotic resistance, of food-borne illnesses, of crop subsidies, of subsidized oil and water--of all the hidden costs to the environment and the taxpayer that make cheap food seem cheap. No thinking person will tell you they don't care about all that. I tell them the choice is simple: You can buy honestly priced food or you can buy irresponsibly priced food."- Joel Salatine

Pollan, Michael. The Omnivore's Dilemma: a natural history of four meals.Ney York:Penguin Press, 2006.

Joel Salatin is the owner of Polyface farm in Virginia's Shenendoah Valley. He raises a ha;f dozen different species and practices a completely organic way of farming. He gave this quote in an interview with Michael Pollan, a botanist and leader in the clean food revolution.

Many people use the argument that organic food is too expensive and not worth spending their money on. Here the owner of Polyface farm discounts this argument. Uknowingly Americans are spending their money on processed, government subssidized food. Although you are buying something cheaper from a large, chain grocer you have already spent your tax dollars on the growing of industrial crops to make the processed food. The cost this has on the environment is much higher than if you bought local and organinc. So many people look at orgainic foood as being expensive, when in reality it is what food should cost.

Affluenza

"We live in a society whose whole policy is to excite every nerve in the human body and keep it at its highest pitch of artificial tension, to strain every human desire to the limit and to create as many new desires and synthetic possessions as possible" Thomas Merton

Merton, Thomas. "Seeds." Shambhala Publication Inc. 2002

Thomas Merton, a Trappist Monk, was an influential Catholic writer, poet, activist, and speaker. He dealt mostly with topics of spirituality and their connection with world issues.

This book is a compilation of essays and excerpts from books written by Thomas Merton. In this section, titled, The World We Live In, Merton writes about his views on the Western culture and consumerism. Later on, after this quote, Merton goes on to state that he believes America is too focused on meaningless, synthetic pleasures. he also states that living this way has already affected the world in a negative way.

My project's purpose is to encourage people to get back to basics and not buy processed and packaged food. Companies invent new, exciting, processed foods every day and advertisers push the selling of these packaged foods. America's people are constantly being encouraged to buy some new food product, whether it be squeezable yogurt in a tube or cheese in a can. Our society always wants more and more of the best, the newest, the most popular. The food industry is a huge part of this continuous cycle of desire and demand.